Re: 1000 ways to unlock Lucario in Pokemon Red

[Magetorment]

Step 102: This one varries depending on which person was summoned.
If Elvis appeared use cut, this will cut off his hair, take it and run. Be careful, occasionaly Hitler will appear disguised as Elvis.
If Hitler appeared use Strength on his balls. This will make him drop an Elvis Wig, take it and run.
If Jesus appeared talk to him, he'll challenge you to a race over the water. Win and he'll award you the Elvis Wig.

[RyuKage]

Step 103: Take the Elvis wig and give it to Bill

[Magetorment]

Step 104: Bill will put the wig on an Eevee and send it after you. You have to catch this Eevee, do not KO it.
Warning: The Elvis wig is the most powerful power up in the game, it will make the Eevee insainly powerful. Be sure to bring a full team of 100s.
Protip: If you're not using a Master Ball you'll need to get the Eevee down to 1 HP and load it up will status ailments.
Protip: Bring a ton of Full Restores and have them at the ready, the Eevee knows sing and will use it whenever your pokemon is awake until it runs out of PP.

[Silenrea]

Step 105: After capturing, Bill will heal your team and swap the first of your Pokemon with the Eevee. The Pokemon replaced goes into storage. Then Team Rocket will burst into the room. Bill will use his machine to become a Pokemon intentionally. The reason for this is not known until later.
Your rival will come in also and you have to use only the Eevee you gained to beat them all, of course with the Elvis Wig, this is a simple task.

Spoiler: You will get the chance to capture Bill, should you decide to.

[dog in da grass]

Step 106: Once you beat Team Rocket they will ask you to join. Say yes then you must fight bill to show your power.

tip: if posible use endever against him with a pokemon that has less then 5 hp if you dont have the master ball anymore.

[Silenrea]

Step 107: Beat and capture Bill. Since Team Rocket feels his storage system and even the device to change human into Pokemon is invaluable, having him under their command is vital. Though Bill is yours, so do not hand him over. You will need him later. This is where you will soon come to the choice whether to truly join Team Rocket or remain merely undercover to find out what they are really up to. And get some awesome items too as you tear apart their base.
(Isn't that how ALL the games are? The items scattered on the ground and you destroy the place...not literally. But we shall this time!)

Either way, they will offer to take you to their base. Say yes only if you do not want to seek out Missingno first in order to gain favour with the boss.

[RyuKage]

Step 108: Find Missingno and feed it to Bill

[Magetorment]

Step 109: Okay, you're going to have to work really fast for this one or else you're going to have to start all over. The Missingno will paralyze Bill, but he'll recover fast. While he's paralyzed you need to put a porygon on his machine and put him back into it. This will change him to female. While still paralyzed have the Elvis Eevee mate with her. Once he mounts Bill you won't have to worry about the timer any more.

[Latios]

step 101: Now, while Bill is distracted put yourself into the machine and get your pokemon to turn it on, turning you into a lopunny (male). then proceed to raep Bill

[Magetorment]

Step 110: With PokeBill impailed on your errect dick run back to town and burn down the Pokecenter. This one may be a bit tricky if you didn't come prepaired. If you're reading this ahead and not doing it step by step go get the "Sensual Incents" and "Streatchy Pants" before starting this. To unlock see "99 Steps to Unlock Sensual Incents" and "800 Steps to Unlock Steatchy Pants."
Note: If Bill falls off at any point you have to restart at Step 1.
Note: If you burn down the Pokecenter you'll only unlock Probopass.

[dog in da grass]

Step 111: roast bill over the fire with your cock as a skewer.
Note: if you burn your crotch you have to go back to step 36

[Latios]

step 112: After succesfully rosting bill, feed him to a hungry snorlax to get him to move out of the way

[Silenrea]

(( Since you have all lost track of the STEP you are up to since Latios said 101 instead of 110, then Mage said 110 instead of 111...I shall now correct the step number we are up to. ))

Step 114: Go down mysterious stairs in the ground that the Snorlax was atop of. Keep going until you hear an odd pinging sound. If you do this wrong, Bill's ghost will attack you. If this should happen you will have to go back to step 109. Take the second door on this floor when you heard the sound and enter. You will find 3 item balls.

[MaxxTheChu]

Step 115: The one on the left contains a magical dimension bomb (picking that sends you back to Step 1), the one on the right contains a munchlax which noms you and sends you back a step and the middle one contains a key item, Magic Mystery Key ^^'

[dog in da grass]

Step 116: You must use the key to unlock the door to the alternate dimension where you will find a comfy looking bed.

[RyuKage]

Step 117: Invite a female Lopunny into the dimensional bed chamber

[Silenrea]

Step 118: Getting the female Lopunny is hard. But if you manage to 'woo' her and get her inside within 3 attempts, you're in luck. After a sequence of button presses, you need to get onto the bed. If you did it right, she will get on too. This poses several choices of what to do, but only one of them gets you forward.

[RyuKage]

Step 119: If you choose anal, go back a step if you choose frontal go back a step so you must choose the third step.

[Silenrea]

Step 120: The third choice is a fake. But it simply does nothing when you choose it, and you have to choose again. Select none of them (Press B) and the female Lopunny will start to talk. Apparently she knows of a secret place she wants to show you and since you did not choose anal, frontal nor oral...she deems you a thoughtful and worthy individual to be shown her secret haven. This is a vital step as a treasure there will be given to you by her eventually.

[Magetorment]

(Time for the ultimate memory test )

Step 120: Take the Lopunny to the secret haven and leave her there. Do not do anything to her, as she'll need to be there for steps 144 and 500.

[Silenrea]

(( That was step 121, not 120. XP ))

Step 122: With the Lopunny waiting walk around. After a while you'll notice something happen. This can be random and may even skip you forward a few steps...if you are lucky enough.

[Latios]

Step 123: if you are lucky enough to have the loppunny hop towards you, be sure to feed it many many cute poffins and increase it's cuteness, making it's charm unavoidable by pokemon and human alike.

[dog in da grass]

Step 124: have it use its perfectly irresistable charm on yourself, and you must NOT fall for it or else you have to remove your own heart and eat useing a plasic spoon, or go back to step one, your choice if you fall for it.

[Silenrea]

Step 125: To avoid it enter the following sequence, it will show it but has to be done quickly. A, B, B, A, B, A, A, B, Up, Down, Left, Right, Right, A, Select. DON'T FORGET SELECT.

[dog in da grass]

(note about step 125, it must be done faster than the Sonic 3 level select code for it to work properly)
Step 126: if you evaded it you can rest easy and lay on the ground staring at the sky or ceiling ether way the same thing hapens.

if you didnt evade it, you must either go back to step 1 or dig your heart out with a plastic spoon and eat it. If you choose the second option, use the replacement you have in your bag if you remembered it

(..... Im takeing this too far...)

[Latios]

((yes you are ^^))
step 127: regardless of your choice for #126, you now have to watch and analyze the movements of the clouds, to decipher the location of the flying wailord.

[dog in da grass]

Step 128: you must find an airship and take off after the flying Wailord.

[Magetorment]

Step 129: If you have already unlocked Skitty (See 50 steps to unlock Skitty) Then you can give it to the wailord and skip to step 150. If not have one of your pokemon use attract so that the flying Wailord will get a stiffy.

[Pachi]

Step 130: Now comes the hard part. You must have a female Pachirisu give the Wailord a pawjob. (( See 5,000 steps to unlocking a female Pachirisu. ))

[Silenrea]

Step 131: Shove the Pachirisu into the Wailord's cock and ensure that it goes nice and deep...all the way. Make sure she is lodged inside really deep. You need the Wailord to NOT shoot out the Pachirisu when it climaxes or you have to go back 10 steps.

[Pachi]

Step 132: After the Wailord climaxes, remove the Pachirisu from the Wailord's cock and let her anal vore you. If she climaxes while anal voring you, skip the next 10 steps, but if she says anything, go back to step 1.

[Silenrea]

(( Pachi? I said all the way. That means to the testicles. You think it would stay in if it was in the cock? ))

Step 132a: Alternatively, you can leave the Pachirisu inside and travel inside the Wailord through the open maw, which opened in pleasure, to get to the stomach, where a semi-required item is located. You only have ten minutes to find it. This item is not a vital one, unless you wish to be able to have easier tasks later. The item is a Ruby Ring.

[Spice]

Step 133: After obtaining the Ruby Ring, head to the beach.

:3

[Silenrea]

Step 134: Use the Ruby Ring, a random water Pokemon will come to you. You need one capable of learning Surf. This process is similar to fishing, but the Pokemon show up as level 60, so be prepared. You do not need to capture it if the right type comes along, merely beat it.

[Latios]

Step 135: after defeating the surfing pokemon, your own pokemon will all know surf, no matter what the type, and so you are able to surf down to cinnibar island, but first you have to defeat the villainous pikachu

[Silenrea]

Step 136: To locate the Pikachu you seek, you have to use the Super Rod in the water, while still surfing, to catch another Pokemon. You need a Seaking, once you hook it...defeat it and it will retreat, follow it.

[Latios]

Step 137: and it will lead you towards the seafoam islands where Articuno lives and he wil tell you to go to mount coronet.

[Silenrea]

Step 138: You must recall your surfing Pokemon then fly towards Mount Coronet. But there will be one difference, you will encounter wild Pokemon as you fly there, at least six battles.

[Latios]

Step 139: IF you manage to defeat these six or more battles, you will reach Mt coronet and meat Dialga, who will instantly test yoiur power ina battle.

[Silenrea]

Step 140: Umm...win. But you have to do it in 3 turns.

[Latios]

Step 141: if you are able to do such a feat, he will istantly allow you passage into the torn world, which will allow you to meat with Giratina.

[Silenrea]

Step 142: When you meet with Giratina, you have a small scene of conversation, of which seems to imply that he needs to eat you to get to the Pikachu to defeat. Regardless of which option you choose, Accept or Reject the over, he will eat you.

[Latios]

step 143: however if you accept the offer, unbeknownst to the legendary, you will go right through his digestive system and pass through reletivly unharmed. when giratina discovers you he smiles and grants youa wish.

[Silenrea]

Step 144: The options of the wishes include the following.

"I wish for vital information."
"I wish for a precious item."
"I wish for a Pokemon."
"I wish to have you..."

The first one will get you information to jump to step 203.
The second one will take you to step 150. (Here's hoping someone remembers.)
The third will simply get you a Luvdisc.
The fourth one is a unique choice, but a fun effect. Giratina will eat you, and then merge you with him in some way. From now on you control Giratina, but can shift to normal as well. You will gain an item called G-Orb to allow you to switch between them. For now, remain as a Giratina...as he will help you with advice.

[Latios]

step 145: Giratina will bring you to this secret place hidden deep within the johto region's silver mountain, where you will find a silver chain that will help you capture a steel type of your choice.

[Silenrea]

Step 146: Use the chain to summon a Jirachi and then it will also give you the capture choice through it. You will get a wish.

[Latios]

step 146: use this wish to eliminate your rival utterly, giving you more time to spend on doing something productive.

[Silenrea]

Step 147: This is, of course, after the funeral. But it seems your rival left you a gift. Return to your home town using Fly to get it.

[Latios]

step 148: after flying to your hometown, you get the swift hammer, allowing you to punch past those annoying rocks on the ocean and on paths, allowing you to access more of kanto and johto.

[Silenrea]

Step 149: This also helps you find your way to the Pikachu you need to eliminate. Gather some items from your mother and then head on your way.