Re: 1000 ways to unlock Lucario in Pokemon Red

[dog in da grass]

Step 76: Remove all of its teeth with plyers

[Latios]

step 77: then sell the teeth for a charizard, who will quickly AV you

[dog in da grass]

Step 78: Now in the rump let your charizard out.

[PuppyLove]

Step 79: Stay in the Charizrds rump for about a week...or longer.

[HungerStruck]

Step 80: After a week...or longer has expired, remove Charizard's new teeth (yes, it will grow it's teeth back by then) from the inside and replace with your Nan's false teeth.

[dog in da grass]

Step 81: remove your teeth and replace them with the Charizard teeth

[HungerStruck]

Step 82: Scare the hell out of your nan who's false teeth you stole by bearing your Charizard teeth. (Bonus if you chew a few red berries beforehand)

[dog in da grass]

Step 83 take a photo of the ocation ---Make sure you and the charizard are smileing!---

[HungerStruck]

Step 84: The Charizard will quickly vore the photo, and you must retrieve it.

[Fevix]

Step 85: after retrieving the photo, burn it on the tail of the charizard.

[dog in da grass]

Step 86 sell it on e-bay then eat the money you get

[Magetorment]

Step 87: Regurgiate the money and go to every pokemart in a given region and give each cashier one pokedollar covered in bile.

[dog in da grass]

Step 89 go to offisor Jenny and tell her the shopkeepers have stolen your bile-money

[Samui]

Step 90: Acquire the Franklin Badge from Jenny.

[Silenrea]

Step 91: Run in a circle in front of Jenny EXACTLY 20 times then talk to her again, say that you are looking for happy land.

[Samui]

Step 92: Listen to Jenny's instructions, which include talking to a guy in town whom resembles Mr. T. He will give you the directions to Happy Happy village.

[Silenrea]

Step 93: Pull off a Mr. T impersonation after gaining directions. Though the man may chase you. If he doe you must run through the nearest cave to lead you on the path to Happy Happy Village. The HM Flash will be needed.

[Samui]

Step 94: Upon reaching Happy Happy Village, steal an egg in order to initiate a battle with one of the locals. Make sure your party is fully healed before you do so, though.

[dog in da grass]

Step 95: Fight your way through the elderly pokemon masters as you make your excape

[Magetorment]

Step 96: One of the elderly in the group you must fight is a whitch. Defeat the whitch by dropping a house on her. You have to have a pokemon that knows Strangth to do with. You'll hear a chime when you kill the right one.
Note: This one might also be a bit uphill, since there is now way to tell who is the witch and it changes every time. Also there are less houses than people, so this may take a few tries.

[Fevix]

Step 97: destroy the rest of the houses

[Silenrea]

Step 98: Burn the remains then make one of your Pokemon devour the dead witch to give it extra powers and abilities. Evolution may also be possible.

[Magetorment]

Step 99: Give the pokemon who ate the dead a reaper's cloak. This only applies if the pokemon you used was not a ghost type. This step may be tricky as you'll first have to unlock a reaper's cloak. Best to just use a ghost type.

[Silenrea]

Step 100: Drop a Spell Tag on the ground and step back. See if your Pokemon will perform a ritual or not, hopefully it does. However it is all left to chance.

[dog in da grass]

Step 101: The ritual will either bring back Elvis, Hitler, or Jesus this this is determined by which starter you chose at the begining of the game.

[Magetorment]

Step 102: This one varries depending on which person was summoned.
If Elvis appeared use cut, this will cut off his hair, take it and run. Be careful, occasionaly Hitler will appear disguised as Elvis.
If Hitler appeared use Strength on his balls. This will make him drop an Elvis Wig, take it and run.
If Jesus appeared talk to him, he'll challenge you to a race over the water. Win and he'll award you the Elvis Wig.

[RyuKage]

Step 103: Take the Elvis wig and give it to Bill

[Magetorment]

Step 104: Bill will put the wig on an Eevee and send it after you. You have to catch this Eevee, do not KO it.
Warning: The Elvis wig is the most powerful power up in the game, it will make the Eevee insainly powerful. Be sure to bring a full team of 100s.
Protip: If you're not using a Master Ball you'll need to get the Eevee down to 1 HP and load it up will status ailments.
Protip: Bring a ton of Full Restores and have them at the ready, the Eevee knows sing and will use it whenever your pokemon is awake until it runs out of PP.

[Silenrea]

Step 105: After capturing, Bill will heal your team and swap the first of your Pokemon with the Eevee. The Pokemon replaced goes into storage. Then Team Rocket will burst into the room. Bill will use his machine to become a Pokemon intentionally. The reason for this is not known until later.
Your rival will come in also and you have to use only the Eevee you gained to beat them all, of course with the Elvis Wig, this is a simple task.

Spoiler: You will get the chance to capture Bill, should you decide to.

[dog in da grass]

Step 106: Once you beat Team Rocket they will ask you to join. Say yes then you must fight bill to show your power.

tip: if posible use endever against him with a pokemon that has less then 5 hp if you dont have the master ball anymore.

[Silenrea]

Step 107: Beat and capture Bill. Since Team Rocket feels his storage system and even the device to change human into Pokemon is invaluable, having him under their command is vital. Though Bill is yours, so do not hand him over. You will need him later. This is where you will soon come to the choice whether to truly join Team Rocket or remain merely undercover to find out what they are really up to. And get some awesome items too as you tear apart their base.
(Isn't that how ALL the games are? The items scattered on the ground and you destroy the place...not literally. But we shall this time!)

Either way, they will offer to take you to their base. Say yes only if you do not want to seek out Missingno first in order to gain favour with the boss.

[RyuKage]

Step 108: Find Missingno and feed it to Bill

[Magetorment]

Step 109: Okay, you're going to have to work really fast for this one or else you're going to have to start all over. The Missingno will paralyze Bill, but he'll recover fast. While he's paralyzed you need to put a porygon on his machine and put him back into it. This will change him to female. While still paralyzed have the Elvis Eevee mate with her. Once he mounts Bill you won't have to worry about the timer any more.

[Latios]

step 101: Now, while Bill is distracted put yourself into the machine and get your pokemon to turn it on, turning you into a lopunny (male). then proceed to raep Bill

[Magetorment]

Step 110: With PokeBill impailed on your errect dick run back to town and burn down the Pokecenter. This one may be a bit tricky if you didn't come prepaired. If you're reading this ahead and not doing it step by step go get the "Sensual Incents" and "Streatchy Pants" before starting this. To unlock see "99 Steps to Unlock Sensual Incents" and "800 Steps to Unlock Steatchy Pants."
Note: If Bill falls off at any point you have to restart at Step 1.
Note: If you burn down the Pokecenter you'll only unlock Probopass.

[dog in da grass]

Step 111: roast bill over the fire with your cock as a skewer.
Note: if you burn your crotch you have to go back to step 36

[Latios]

step 112: After succesfully rosting bill, feed him to a hungry snorlax to get him to move out of the way

[Silenrea]

(( Since you have all lost track of the STEP you are up to since Latios said 101 instead of 110, then Mage said 110 instead of 111...I shall now correct the step number we are up to. ))

Step 114: Go down mysterious stairs in the ground that the Snorlax was atop of. Keep going until you hear an odd pinging sound. If you do this wrong, Bill's ghost will attack you. If this should happen you will have to go back to step 109. Take the second door on this floor when you heard the sound and enter. You will find 3 item balls.

[MaxxTheChu]

Step 115: The one on the left contains a magical dimension bomb (picking that sends you back to Step 1), the one on the right contains a munchlax which noms you and sends you back a step and the middle one contains a key item, Magic Mystery Key ^^'

[dog in da grass]

Step 116: You must use the key to unlock the door to the alternate dimension where you will find a comfy looking bed.

[RyuKage]

Step 117: Invite a female Lopunny into the dimensional bed chamber

[Silenrea]

Step 118: Getting the female Lopunny is hard. But if you manage to 'woo' her and get her inside within 3 attempts, you're in luck. After a sequence of button presses, you need to get onto the bed. If you did it right, she will get on too. This poses several choices of what to do, but only one of them gets you forward.

[RyuKage]

Step 119: If you choose anal, go back a step if you choose frontal go back a step so you must choose the third step.

[Silenrea]

Step 120: The third choice is a fake. But it simply does nothing when you choose it, and you have to choose again. Select none of them (Press B) and the female Lopunny will start to talk. Apparently she knows of a secret place she wants to show you and since you did not choose anal, frontal nor oral...she deems you a thoughtful and worthy individual to be shown her secret haven. This is a vital step as a treasure there will be given to you by her eventually.

[Magetorment]

(Time for the ultimate memory test )

Step 120: Take the Lopunny to the secret haven and leave her there. Do not do anything to her, as she'll need to be there for steps 144 and 500.

[Silenrea]

(( That was step 121, not 120. XP ))

Step 122: With the Lopunny waiting walk around. After a while you'll notice something happen. This can be random and may even skip you forward a few steps...if you are lucky enough.

[Latios]

Step 123: if you are lucky enough to have the loppunny hop towards you, be sure to feed it many many cute poffins and increase it's cuteness, making it's charm unavoidable by pokemon and human alike.

[dog in da grass]

Step 124: have it use its perfectly irresistable charm on yourself, and you must NOT fall for it or else you have to remove your own heart and eat useing a plasic spoon, or go back to step one, your choice if you fall for it.

[Silenrea]

Step 125: To avoid it enter the following sequence, it will show it but has to be done quickly. A, B, B, A, B, A, A, B, Up, Down, Left, Right, Right, A, Select. DON'T FORGET SELECT.

[dog in da grass]

(note about step 125, it must be done faster than the Sonic 3 level select code for it to work properly)
Step 126: if you evaded it you can rest easy and lay on the ground staring at the sky or ceiling ether way the same thing hapens.

if you didnt evade it, you must either go back to step 1 or dig your heart out with a plastic spoon and eat it. If you choose the second option, use the replacement you have in your bag if you remembered it

(..... Im takeing this too far...)